Sassafrass: January 2006

Olympic Bound 2016

DSCN1266.JPG
Originally uploaded by gitsul.

New Date Prospect for Saratee

If you don't know me, I am fond of men who are not clean cut- My friends always tease me because they call the men that I think are attractive: Mister McGrizzly- They are the blue collar construction workers you see driving their large pick up trucks wearing their sexy hard hats- Or when my friend thinks he is a real comedian and points out some down on their luck homeless men- Yes, they are in true definition not clean cut but come on- They couldn't afford me- But when I say Not Clean Cut- I don't mean, they don't wash- Yes, I think personal hygiene is VERY important- Because hypochondriacs won't commit to a relationship when they think they'll catch something unmentionable- My skin just crawled- So I was intrigued when a friend approached me with a Mr. McGrizzly prospect:

Zane: Hey I have the perfect guy for you. I know how you like the rugged grizzly adams type.

Saratee: Oh really- Is he truly my type?

Zane: Most definitely. He is a Guy's Guy. Totally your type. He loves the outdoors. He hunts and fishes and goes camping-sorta. He keeps his hair longer. He has facial hair, but I am not sure how he is styling it now, though. He is on the shy side. He likes to go on adventures and just being free and alive. Like you, he doesn't like crowds. He lives alone. I don't know if he has any pets. Unfortunately he doesn't live here in the States, but fortunately for you he lives in Canada or there abouts. And I know how much you have been wishing for a Canadian to sweep you off your feet.

Saratee: Wow he sounds like he could be my type, tell me more.

Zane: Well his first name is Frank. I know he isn't in a relationship right now. He just got out of a relationship, which I heard didn't end well. I am not sure what kind of music he likes but I am sure he would be open to anything. I have never met him but my cousins' neighbor was introduced to him on a fishing trip. I guess it was an awkward meeting but they never discuss the details. I would give you his number but I don't think he has a cell phone. But I will give you his email address. I am sure he would be totally interested in meEATING you.

wwwww.Mister_Frank_AbominalSnowman.com

2006 Bloggies

If you like my blog- It was more than likely influenced by some of the nominees in the 2006 Bloggies- I haven't voted but we have until Tuesday the 31st- Be sure to cast a vote and maybe put some new blogs into your favorites- Nope I wasn't nominated for Best Kept Secret Weblog- A few weeks ago was when the nominations were being voted- I, of course nominated myself- Who else was going to do it -I have only 4 readers- hence The Best Kept Secret

I am NOW in the System

I am sick- It started out 6 days ago with a scratchy throat then I woke up to a full throttle sore throat which slowly turned into the Basic Cold 101- Headache- Exhaustion- High Temperature (not sure if a fever) Sinus Infection!!!!!!- Chest Congestion - My voice has changed with the sinus infection and you could say I sound like someone is trying to start up a vintage lawn mower- But I think it sounds sexy- Yesterday boss heard me coughing and said "You're not getting sick on me are ya?" and I said "I am actually starting to get better" (well I thought I was) But thanks for not noticing my red 'stop a school bus' nose for the last three days- I am in the phase of the cold when you become very intrigued by what you blow out your nose and cough out of your lungs- That actually came from my body? GROSS!!!! but let me look at it in some better light- I stopped at Target to get some cold comforts the night before- This was the first time I purchased cold medicine since they started keeping it behind the pharmacy desk- So I scanned the isle for the right priced cold medicine and grabbed the plastic hanging tag- I brought it up to the young pharmacist assistant- He asked for my ID and I pulled out my License- He then proceeded to type in something that took 10 minutes- I am going to assume he was a poor typer and he just took 10 minutes to enter in my License, a 12 digit number- But I think there was another form he was filling out:
Drivers License #:
Last Cold Medicine Purchase:
Ever Been Convicted of a Crime:
Name:
Address:
Date of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
Eye Color:
Hair Color:
Shoe Size:
Bra Size:
Pants Size:
Favorite Color:
Favorite Food:
Favorite Song:
Annual Income:
Hourly or Salary: SVCKER
Score on SAT Test:
Name of First Born:
Name of the First Boy or Girl Ever Kissed:
Last Time Had Sex:
Last Time Looked at Self Naked in Mirror:
At Approximately What Age Will Die:
Believes in UFO's: Yes /No
Chocolate vs. Vanilla:
Republican or Democrat:
Christian- Jewish- Muslim- Wiccan- Agnostic- Pagan
Thinks She"ll Win the Lottery During Lifetime: Yes /No

But We REALLY Should Be Here with a Pina Colada

CSM105754
Originally uploaded by Rafa Rivera.

A Wrong Turn & I Could End up Here

bogged down on the beach
Originally uploaded by broterham.

Or Here

38155
Originally uploaded by suchuenc.

And Here

Medhufushi.
Originally uploaded by Ahmed Zahid.

We are NOT Here

42-15310772
Originally uploaded by Rafa Rivera.

I Am Not Here

nemo
Originally uploaded by P!ndaro.

You are NOT here

I cropped this to just the image- It says Island Hopping, Anyone? Some day I will go to this place- I just wish it was sooner than later- I really want to take some time off- Have I mentioned that I had a rough 2005? - Well exhaustion has settled in firmly- I won't be able to take a vacation for another 365 days (or more) I will actually be chained to my desk at work- No joke- Usually with my tax refund (yes, I get money back because I was smart enough to stay in an appropriate tax bracket) I usually buy a plane ticket and venture as far as my two dollars and eighty six cents will get me- Well then I charge the rest of course- This year because I don't have PAID vacation yet - I can't go anywhere- So I decided I will use the money for a extreme makeover- No, it doesn't entail buying 50 cases of booze (that sounds like a goooood vacation though) I will attempt to find a personal trainer who can teach me the correct way to RE-FORM my body (remember how I had physical therapy for my knee then three months later I F#!%$ up my back with my lopsided walk caused by my gangrened foot) I want to FIRM up my 30 something body- Otherwise all my tattoos will get stretched out- Who wants to see a 8 inch wide image of Papa Smurf on my ass- I sorta already started working out on my own- My back feels really good too- And no it is not because I found a Vicodin in my sock drawer- One draw back to getting healthy is you have to STAY committed to it- I have been told, I have commitment issues or atleast that is what the therapist said- Men, healthy lifestyle, my paycheck, ANY and ALL projects that I have started- It doesn't matter- You know smoking and cutting back on the booze was actually easier than I thought- Wink, Wink "All this fresh air filling my lungs, I want a cigarette"

One of the Funniest Guys

He wouldn't let me show you the other more artistic photos because when he ran his finger across his neck

One of the Funniest Guys
Originally uploaded by SaraTee.

- I knew he wasn't kiddin

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

I have been so miserably tired these past few weeks (probably finally coming down from my stressful, shitty 2005) Well, really this past year, Well, actually the last 5 years, Well, now that I think about it.........my whole life

I finally found a cure- Raspberry Honey Liqueur (flavored vodka to the rest of you)- Those Russkies sure know something about Winter Light Deprivation Illness- (That's what I call it anyways)

See yesterday after I got home from work I felt so crappy- I thought I was near death- Seriously- And going on the internet looking up Medical Terminology probably wasn't really a good idea for a known hypochondriac- so I crawled into my bed- Yes, I was soon fast asleep- I don't remember what woke me but I know that I jerked violently awake- Which felt like someone had kicked me in the chest and almost stopped my heart (it was beating really fast) I was pretty groggy the rest of the evening- I had mixed myself a few weak cocktails throughout the evening, while I watched my very favorite TV show The Office (funny stuff) and then followed by a movie-Happy Endings (Maggie Gyllanhall is someone to watch for in the future) I realized by the 10 o'clock hour I wasn't getting tired enough to go to bed-Because earlier I had taken that short cat nap- So by 10:45 pm I had to make my cocktails a lot stronger in order to get myself tired enough to fall asleep- It worked and I was asleep by 11:35 pm- But the miracle didn't happen until in the middle night when I was thrashing around & sweating (probably breaking a fever)- I woke up dripping wet and never more WIDE AWAKE & ALERT- It has been years since I have been so clear minded- Why? the miracle Raspberry Honey liqueur of course- Yes, I have mixed myself a cocktail now as I write this- I suggest the Harvard Medical Journal updates' their report regarding Flavored Vodka as a miracle drug/concoction

Now that I think about it.......maybe it was the Artic Shatter PowerAde that I used as a mixer

Remembering Mercedes

Resto en el companero fiel querido de la paz

A Slice of Heaven

I had to do inventory at work- I was dreading getting up at 5:45 am in order to clock in at 7:00 am- But it wasn't all that bad- Think about it- I spent 8 plus hours counting cases and bottles of BOOZE (and I had never tasted majority of it- I am a simple beer or whiskey girl) It was a tad bit surreal- I really wanted to bring my camera- The best part was hanging out with the Warehouse Guys- They teamed us up with one of the guys- My partner had a very cool nickname (which I won't repeat for confidentiality) I asked him where he got it and he said he or a friend was in a rock band and something about Cheap Trick and it stuck- Oh, I so didn't follow it- I got to ride infront of a forklift in a make shift cage thing (bumpy ride) My partner had the sweetest vintage Hamm's beer jacket- I thought if he ever took it off I might have to keep it- The day was an ultimately a free course in observing society- During some down time I noticed the scruffy warehouse guys huddled near their forklifts- They peered at us through the piles of pallets - And us, the office workers huddled together near the main desk- We were chillin thinking that this was better than sitting at a desk upstairs- And who could forget about the the Sales employees- They were all dressed in their Sunday best gabbing (loudly) up a storm (didn't anyone tell them not to wear good clothes because they'd get dirty? Oh, that was their yucky clothes-My mistake- Sales people are very annoying) Blah, Blah, Blah- Who tucks in their tee shirts into belted jeans and wears white sweaters to go into a dirty warehouse? Oh yeah, ding dong Yuppie Preppies- Anyways- I am a girl who is most comfortable with dirt under my nails- And I was very comfortable working in the warehouse- Infact I loved it- Nope, I didn't liberate any bottles of Jack Daniels either

Slice-n-Dice

Who knew pushing paper could be a health hazard- Who knew paper was so dangerous- I have received so many paper cuts at my new job- I get atleast 2 or 3 a day- Like the other today the paper knew exactly where to find the soft fleshy part of my finger- That's right- Right under the nail- The blood slowly bubbled up from under my nail- My nail turning the most brilliant red- My cubicle is starting to look like the aftermath of a horror flick- Who knew I was a bleeder

Two Silly Sisters

Two Silly Sisters
Originally uploaded by SaraTee.

And I don't even think they were drinkin!

Blogger Blackmail

I was having dinner with my mother & father a few days ago- My mother said something which I thought was amusing but perhaps at the cost of her humility- I said "I am going to blog that"- She shot me a look and said "Blogger Blackmail" But she doesn't need to worry that every embarrassing thing she does will end up on my blog- I can't remember 90% of the things I want to write about- But telling the waitress NOT to set down the 2nd glass of Sprite because you didn't want it and she'll contaminate it and therefore not be able to give it to another customer is worthy of blogging- I know, it is "such a waste"

New Years Resolution

I began to think about 2006 this last October- I will let you in on a little secret- The year 2005 totally svcked!! for me anyways- Looking back at the year- I had some fun times but most of the year was spent looking at the bottom of a bottle- A Beer Bottle, A Whiskey Bottle, A Mouthwash Bottle, A Cough Medicine Bottle- It didn't matter which one- I began thinking about 2006 a few months ago- My Chinese fortune says 2006 will be a GREAT year for me- GOOD- I need a break- So I started my New Years Resolutions a little early this year- A couple months early-

***I stopped excessively drinking ***
***I stopped excessively exercising (well, my wrists & elbows)***
***I stopped excessively plucking my eyebrows ***
***I stopped excessively excessing (if that makes sense)***

I should be good to go for 2006- Starting the New Year with a Balanced-Heart, Mind, & Soul--Healthy Inner Peace-- Be who you want to Attract (so I will start attracting good people and not the lame-O's that I have been)

Wishing you success on your New Years Resolutions

Sassafrass

1.29.2006

Olympic Bound 2016

New Date Prospect for Saratee

1.27.2006

2006 Bloggies

1.26.2006

I am NOW in the System

1.23.2006

But We REALLY Should Be Here with a Pina Colada

1.22.2006

A Wrong Turn & I Could End up Here

1.21.2006

Or Here

1.20.2006

And Here

1.19.2006

We are NOT Here

1.18.2006

I Am Not Here

1.15.2006

You are NOT here

1.14.2006

One of the Funniest Guys

1.13.2006

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

1.10.2006

Remembering Mercedes

1.09.2006

A Slice of Heaven

1.08.2006

Slice-n-Dice

1.07.2006

Two Silly Sisters

1.04.2006

Blogger Blackmail

1.01.2006

New Years Resolution

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