4.27.2006

I Got Accepted to the New Reality TV Show

I am so excited about my news- I was going to tell you all about my recent trip to the Walker Art Center where I saw the one and only KOFI ANAAN (I wish he would run for President- I know he is not a American citizen but neither is Bush-He is from Outerspace) and I almost got kicked out of the museum because I took an illegal photograph- It was only a sculpture of some dead crows- So last night while I was out Getting In Shape (we walked around a local lake-but we had to eat dinner first and that of course included a beer- so it should be called Stumbling instead of walking) a message was left on my answering machine- I got accepted- I got accepted for the Reality TV Show that I auditioned for this past winter- Now, you are all thinking "She auditioned for a Reality TV Show? No, not our Saratee, Really?" Yeah, and I got it-I never thought in a million years that I would- Because I am one of those Quiet Ones- I only observe people- I don't partake in others' idiotic lives - And you few out there that do know me well are saying "yeah, right- She is not Quiet"- I kept it a secret because I am superstitious about stuff like this- If I say something out loud- I then believe it will not come true- I did discuss it with that "one guy"- Whom I am not seeing anymore- He auditioned too and Thank Gawd didn't get accepted- Feww- We didn't part on good terms- I still owe him money for the foot dent I put in his driver side door- But we won't get into that now- I am sooo excited to get away for awhile- I leave in 3 weeks and will be gone for 2 and half months- My boss okay'd the absence from work- I am so excited- This reality TV show is called Surviving the Bermuda Triangle- Inspired by the TV show LOST which I have only watched like twice- So I am not too familiar with the show- Anyways, my reality TV show starts out with all the contestants parachuting out of a airplane (In the TV show Lost it was a plane crash) They will actually crash the plane too and I guess there is a chance that my parachute will not work and I will be the prized DEAD Person for that season- (I signed a circumstantial Death Waiver) Aren't you excited for me- I can't wait- I am going to be on TV!

4.24.2006

Saratee Has Been Busy

I have been busy taking photos and a lot of them over the weekend and well.... I am always taking photos aren't I- But since I got this here slick DSL -uploading the photos hasn't been easier- Check out my photos>>>>>>>>>>Here is a link if you're too lazy to click on Saratee Flickr

4.21.2006

***DJ Saratee's Friday Setlist***



***Dwight Yoakam---Fast As You
***Rex Hobart & the Misery Boys---Wicked Savior
***Alabama---Dixieland Delight
***Glen Campbell---Southern Nights
***Kris Kristofferson---Jesus Was A Capricorn
***Willie Nelson---Stardust
***Hank Williams---Cold, Cold Heart
***Faron Young---Your Just Imagination
***Patsy Cline---I Fall to Pieces
***Alison Krauss & Brad Paisley---Whiskey Lullaby
***June Carter Cash & Johnny Cash---It Ain't Me, Babe
***George Jones---Don't Touch Me
***Jessi Colter---You Aint' Never Been Loved (Like the Way I Loved You)
***Moe Bandy---It Was So Easy to Find an Unhappy Woman
***Carl Smith---Let's Live a Little
***Jimmy Buffet---Come Monday
***Willie Nelson---Crazy
***Waylon Jennings---Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys
***Toby Keith---I Love This Bar


Brought to by Wednesday night's bellied up of South Saint Paul VFW
SSP, Minnesota

4.17.2006

I Didn't Bring a Puke Bag to the Movie Theatre

Have you ever Gagged (act of involuntary retching) during a movie?? I recently gagged multiple times during a movie- See, my brother-in-law and I like to entertain ourselves by watching Horror movies- I really like scary movies- I do- I must be a closet adrenaline junkie- We arranged to meet at the movie theatre for the late show- As I was leaving my house I asked my roommate to leave the lights on in the main hallway- I knew I would be nervous and twitchy after watching the scary movie- And with my very Vivid Imagination- I never know what might be waiting in any dark corner of my house- Being nervous and twitchy is also part of the allure- We were planning to see the remake horror film "The Hills Have Eyes" - Now your probably rolling your eyes and thinking "Da, Lame movie, got really REALLY bad reviews"- But I knew my brother-in-law wanted to see this one and I was game for anything- What I didn't realize that it was a GOREfest- I am not big on the blood and gutsHorror movies- I like the creepy hide your eyes under your hands because something is going to jump out at you Horrormovie- What I got was BLOOODY- CANNIBALISM- PUSSSSY EYEBALL FREAK WITH 2 TEETH- MAN WAKING UP IN FREEZER IN A STEW OF A DISMEMBERED BLOOODY BODY- gag gag- This movie was a total thumbs down- I have temporarily sworn off horror movies- Well until I get this foul taste out of my mouth

4.13.2006

No One Told Me He Was Coming To Town

I was on my way back home from the FedEx pick up center. I got a great package in the mail. Thank you, Bahar- Your so sweet! It was such a fantastic evening I decided on my way back home I would take the long way and drove through downtown St Paul- I saw all these people- MY PEOPLE- You can always take a wild guess and usually guess right at what Event is happening at the Excel Center by looking at what the people are wearing- You call tell if it is a Wild Hockey game- everyone is wearing a Wild jersey- Or if it is a Woman Expo or a Stamping Expo- All the pastel capri pants wearing ladies have their bags full of Women Expo things- Tonight I couldn't tell what the event was- At first I was going to guess Motorcross, or Monster Trucks- As the sassy sleuth detective that I am -I was very intrigued to where or who all these people were going-I saw the local Hard Rock/ Metal radio station van parked outside- If they were there -it had to be Loud and Dirty! and probably a little Profane- It appeared that everyone walking around were wearing either a plain black teeshirt or a Harley Davidson shirt, or a faded Monster Truck shirt- There were your typical "bust your face" biker guys with their Hottie girlfriends- There were your typical walk infront of traffic dumbasses- There were people of EVERY shape and size-And I mean it when I say SHAPE- And they were everywhere! Was it because it was such a lovely evening? I determined only one thing- I am a horrible sleuth detective- I went home and looked it up online- No one told me Kid Rock was in town tonight- I would have just gone downtown to watch the crowds of people- With my camera of course- That would have been a very excellent people watching event in itself

4.08.2006

Looking For Twylla Tu or Nootka Lu


If you see any dogs that look like the ONES above and need a good home-Please let me know (don't surprise me with them at my door- I don't' like surprises) Seriously, I almost got two dogs the other day- Yeah, you heard me- TWO- Because after the last one, I decided a dog needs a playmate- My last dog had severe separation anxiety and I am not the type of pet owner who sends her dogs to therapy- So the next best solution is to have TWO- They can have a playmate to pre-occupy them while I am out and then they won't bark for 8 hours straight- I saw in the local paper a bunch of mix breeds that fit my narrow Mutt Pedigree window- I want a small, under 10 lbs, non-shedding Mutt- I want the mix of Poodle and Terrier, or Poodle and Maltese, or Poodle and Jack Russell- A friend gave me a website that has Ooodle small breeds and Oooh boy those puppers are adorable- I know what your thinking "Get a unwanted dog from a shelter" -But I had a rescue unwanted dog last time- I think I deserve a chance with a fresh slate- So I can create a neurotic disfunctional pet myself-

4.07.2006

Let's Welcome Saratee to the 21st Century

Saratee has installed her DSL- I am so amazed at how fast this thing can run, Shit, dial up is a waste of time- Literally!- Now I am going to time how fast I upload photos into flickr and this here blog- Before DSL it could take a full HOUR- Yes, you read that correctly- ONE FULL BLOODY HOUR- I shouldn't think about all those HOURS that I wasted while my computer was paralyzed by dial up- Then I will start to remember all those HOURS that I sat infront of this thing and get very nostalgic for innocently frolicking outside with the birds, bees, & trees, the wind in my hair, the sweet smell of rain or musty smell of the soil, or the chewed up gum on the sole of my shoe, or the faint but pungent smell of sewer gas, the noise from unattended children or the noise from lawn manicuring equipment (those damn leaf blowers) or witness to some pathetic half recognizable squashed roadkilled squirrel- DSL now allows me to spend less time infront of this here THING- know in other parts of the world as the Computer- The bright sun is out and I must go say HI

4.03.2006

All Done In Here

These two together equals DANGER- Danger of pissing your pants more than once- My good friends Les and Paulette- Les is actually my non-blood related brother- More people (not photographed) were there as many drinks were consumed and very good food was gobbled up And somehow we began plotting a movie pilot- I don't remember a lot of detail except it will most likely be rated X because we all have our minds in the gutter- Paulette has the best stories of her childhood and she tells them so matter of factually it makes you double over- Just to give you a small taste- She grew up in a small fishing town on the UP (Upper Michigan peninsula) She and her best girlfriends would purposefully dress alike in black leggings, white shirts and a red hankerchief or scarf on their head or around their necks- They were The Cigarettes and the red scarf meant the cigarette was lit- Somewhat like the "Pinkies" in the movie Grease (my next Halloween costume- "Saratee, what are you?? a potato? Chunk of mud?"-" Nope, I am a Cuban Cigar"{you thought I was going to say a piece of shit, didn't you?) She and her schoolmates, The Cigarettes found a way to get into the sewer systems- While they told their parents they were sleeping over at each others houses- These little 9 year old girls, flashlights in hand, explored their town through the sewers- They knew how to get into the all the public government buildings and the high school and some local businesses- One time they were inside a local bar- They weren't drinking but just Pretending to act as if they were at a bar- Because little girls only pretend- It was very early in the morning and the owner came in- Probably because someone called him to say they saw flashlights inside when it was supposed to be closed- These little 9 year old girls go screaming into the bathroom and sit in there awhile trying to figure out how they were going to get outside- The all came out brushing off their hands and saying "All done in here" like they were the cleaning crew-

4.02.2006

Morbid Blog Entry

I came across these images (scroll down to the bottom) while a moving song was playing (Drive By Trukers- Goddamn Lonely Love) and I began to cry- This is one of the most beautiful memorial services- I am announcing this to my family: This is how I would like everyone to say goodbye to me if I meet my maker sooner rather than later- And if I am the last one to go- well then I guess I drop where I am- Many people don't know that I often think about Death-Which is kind of morbid- And discussing Death has always been taboo- Most people are afraid to die- For some reason I am not- I have had some unexplainable events happen to me during my lifetime that keeps me curious about the unkown- While growing up I always believed that I was going to die when I was 33- I have only told two people that in my life- And that was because the conversation probably got deep and I had swilled just enough- But now it is my secret I share with the rest of ya- And Well tomorrow I turn 34 and I am still here- I am glad too- I have a lot more planned for myself- Hopefully another 33+ years worth

4.01.2006

The Nater


The Nater
Originally uploaded by SaraTee.
I went to my Flickr site today and saw that this image of my nephew Nathan, has been viewed the most on my site- It has been viewed 36 times- "Nathan you are extremely cute"

www.flickr.com