Get-R-Done
Tonight I had the best Ab workout EVER!! oooohhh baby.......2 DVD's back to back of BLUE COLLAR COMEDY- I doubled over weezing, tears swelling in my eyes, snot shooting out of my nose and knocking my head against the coffee table- The neighborhood pack of wild dogs were howling to my very high pitched uncontrolable laugh- Good Night- Good Night indeed (okay there were a couple of drinks involved) My last boyfriend was a Redneck Sympathizer (that is a Redneck in disguise) and the three years I spent with him- the little Redneck in me started to peak out- I struggled with that the whole three years- It wasn't until we were no longer together that I had my "Redneck coming out" party- He would be proud! One, of the many, best parts of the movies was watching the audience- Like the bald guy spitting chew into his empty pop bottle, the 2 Harley black leather vest wearing- salt & pepper beards- salt & pepper ponytail wearing- fat guys high 5ing each other, the men always clapping hard with big ear to ear smiles while their wives or girlfriends are shaking their heads side to side- ANd the numerous Nascar, camoflauged, Guns-N-Roses t shirts that I saw (oh wait, that was the same guy) I am a huge fan of BAD (unlady-like) HUMOR- and I am a big fan of Blue Collar Comedy- Get-R-Done
Maiden Voyage
I got my new Baby- She is soft, white, fluffy, bouncy, clean, and ooohhh soo good! Get your heads out of the gutter- I got my new BED! It was delivered while I was at work- So when it was miller time I raced home to see her- I walked into my bedroom and there she was- Like a vision of the Virgin Mary (sound of angelic singing) After my quick inspection- I quickly dressed her- The week before her arrival, I had been shopping for new sheets in anticipation of her arrival- But I couldn't find the right color- I am Feng Shui(ing) my room and RED would be my color- Like you try to find the perfect shade of red- Anyways, after she was neatly dressed in old sheets, I couldn't keep my eyes off her- The mounds of sleeping pillows, throw pillows, comforters, decorative throws- She was too inviting- I decided I had to slip under her covers (I am not trying to make this sound sexual) Before my head could hit the pillows I was sound asleep- Off in LaLaland (a very good place) But within a few minutes some noise had disrupted my maiden voyage- It appears that after I re-arranged my bedroom, I had created a ECHO chamber and my corduroy wearing roommate decided to do marching drills outside my bedroom- It wasn't her fault that there is a squeaky board on the other side of the wall approximately where my head is-SWISH-SWISH-THUMP-THUMP-SQUEAK-SQUEAK- She took a time out from her marching drills to put away the clean dishes in the kitchen- With the CLANG-CLANG of the dishes and the SLAM-SLAM of the cupboard doors- I still managed to stay somewhere near LaLaland- However when she resumed her marching drills in her corduroy pants the swish- swish, thump-thump, squeak-squeak brought me closer to this crappy reality- but what really put me over the edge was when she finally broke from her marching drills she began to what appeared to be opened every potato chip bag in the house- CRINKLE-small horrible squeally crinkle-CRINKLE-CRINKLE-small horrible squeally crinkle- CRINKLE- CRINKLE- In my sleepy RAGE (anyone who has woken me from any sleep- knows the "sleepy RAGE") I yelled out "will you BE QUIET!!" I heard a faint "What?" so I yelled a lot louder "BE QUIET!!!" There was silence- But with my loud sleepy rage outburst, I was now Wide Awake- I looked at the clock, it was only 6:30pm and I knew I had to get out of my new bestfriend (bed)
Kooky Old Lady
I have received this email like a bazillion times and I love her!! I love this photo so much!! only if she had a toothless old poodle with her- that would be priceless!
I LOVE TRUCKS
I borrowed my father's truck today- God, I miss having a truck. What was I thinking when I bought my car?? Sure, I like my car- 2001 Chevy-power everything, CD player (drives just as well as my friends 2003 Volvo) but I miss driving a truck. My fathers' truck is a 1998 Ford Ranger-No power
anything- broken tape deck- But did it feel good driving that around- I think I will trade in my car and get a truck- well, when I pay off my new bed ($Caching, ching$)
Talking about trucks...... I have an old story to share- About 9 years ago, I had borrowed my fathers' truck- At that time he owned a 1992 Ford Ranger (it was very small) He purchased it used at an auto auction- In its former life it was a Napa Auto delivery truck- So it had an usual safety mechanism but
did not have the blue baseball hat on top of the cab- When the truck was put into REVERSE gear it would BEEP (Beep....Beep....Beep) until you put it into another gear- Sure it was a joke and at first embarrassing (snicker, snicker) but you'd eventually get used to and forget that everyone in the parking lot was staring at you- So to make a long story
shorter- I was living up in Duluth (I totally forgot why I had borrowed it) My bestfriend Gretchen and I went out drinking one wintery night- Because that is what you do when you live in Northern Minnesota during the 10 month winter season- We headed to the Reef Bar- A east end blue collar hot spot and just down the hill from school- Not sure why we ended up there but after our 2 pitchers of beer (probably more) endless games of darts and pool, we were on our way home- I had to drop off my friend and she didn't live to far from the bar- While we were in the bar there was a light precipitation that glazed all the roads with ice- So here I am a little too intoxicated to be driving on ICY roads- If you are familiar with Duluth- You know the city is built on one large hill- So the bar we were at, Yup you guessed it, at the bottom of the hill- My bestfriend lived straight
up the street, ontop of that hill- Driving a 1992 Ford Ranger with rear wheel drive and barely any weight in the bed of the truck- You can guess my strategic reasoning's to drive in a zig-zag pattern to the top of the hill (I think, I was really going to my house to borrow my roommate/sister's
front wheel drive car) Once I made it to the top of the hill I realized I didn't need to borrow my sister's car anymore, however we were clear on the other side of town- The moon was out and big and round and silver and beautiful- We took a road that is very scenic (almost any road in Duluth is scenic) as we were puttering down the icy scenic road - I decided in an instant that I wanted to stop and gander at the lake and moon- I took a sharp turn into a church parking lot -But you know as well as I drunkenly knew then -While driving on ice NOTHING can be a sharp turn- I tried to break- Yeah right- Brakes don't work well on ice either- I ended up plowing into a snow bank- This small truck was half submerged in waist high compacted snow- Ok, can you foresee the problem I had to face? Me and my drunk bestfriend are giggling so hard because I am an idiot- We quickly snapped out of the silly girl giggles- Our dilemma; I was drunk and shouldn't be driving, anyone could and would have stopped to help us (Minnesota Nice) and we were right infront of a
popular bar/restaurant- The Buena Vista (very large windows) I was nervous that someone would see us and call the police to come help us, or better yet some hot macho Northern Exposure guy would come too- We had to act fast- So I put the truck in REVERSE and the
beeping began- I opened my drivers door and dangled my left leg out to try to use for leverage (note to self: while intoxicated don't believe you're bionic) My bestfriend Gretchen got out and waded waist deep into the snowbank- The truck is still in REVERSE and the beeping is echoing in the majestic quiet night- With the large, round, silver full moon looming overheard, my bestfriend is pushing with all her might and I am pushing with all my
one leg might- BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP... It felt like hours- But probably in less than 10 minutes we were out of the snowbank and maneuvering the truck so I could put it into drive- I got the truck into drive and we were on our way- With a loud shout of "Hurray" or some sort of exuberance- I drunkenly said "Yeah, I did that like Fred Flinstone- Cool" My bestfriend Gretchen turned to me with her jeans soaked to her waist and probably frozen to the bone, said "NO YOU
IDIOT, didn't you see ME waist deep in the snowbank pushing the truck out
BY MYSELF!!!"
so so sleeeepy
I took some vacation days this week- I didn't plan anything except to rearrange my bedroom to make room for a NEW bed- Of course I am
trying to wake up late and putter around my house- You know all those ideas that float through your head while your getting ready for work-
"I just want to drink a cup of coffee and lay in my bed and read this book" I didn't plan anything and I am SO BORED!! I have much more
clean up to do in my bedroom - Like move the pictures and sort out the bookcase- But NO that sounds so boring- I have taken a nap each afternoon- Yesterday it was a half hour cat nap- Today it was an hour & half nap that developed into, I could of layed there all afternoon staring out the window at the absolutely glorious sunny fall day (kept telling myself to get my ass up and go enjoy it because soon it will be below zero) While I awoke from both naps it felt like I woke from a 12 year coma- So exhausted- Doesn't sleep revitalize you?? Why am I so tired?? I don't know what to do- I don't watch afternoon TV- That gets me depressed- It always has -Daytime TV seriously bores and depresses me- What the HELL am I going to do for the next 3 days??? I should jump in my car and go far Far FAR away!
I LUST Gina Gershon
So I belong to Netflix- It has to be one of the best investments of my life- No I don't have cable TV- long ago a friend said "don't PAY for TV, it should always be FREEE" (good advice thanks dd)- So Now I rent the old seasons of Cable TV shows- Yes, I am always like 2 season behind the regular programming but who gives a rat's ass- I like my cable TV, 12 to 15 months later- So the other day I was browsing the REALITY TV area, and came across "ROCKED" with Gina Gershon- This nice little gem of a show has Rocked my world- I have fallen for Gina Gershon (and I am straight)- She portrayed a rockstar in a movie- then the movie promoters made her go on tour as a RAWKstar to promote the movie- You never heard of the movie- Go Figure, me either- really, because it was an INDIE film and the promoters were total amateurs and the movie didn't do so well (sucked or wasn't properly promoted, your choice) I came across this Reality Documentary that played on the Independent Film Channel in late 2003 and haven't felt so much at peace in a loooong time- When you catch me daydreaming out the window I am usually fantasizing about being in a rock-n-roll band- And that is exactly what kind of band and music I would perform- She can really rock- very reminiscent of Patty Smyth- I wish she would remain in a rawk band and tour to my city- I am bummed I missed the tour (even if it was only 4 weeks long) I suggest you check out this little ditty of a reality show- IY Gina Gershon- XXOOXXOO she is soooo F****** KOOL-& by the way i am straight
I want to eat at BONANZA
This morning I woke up in great pain- I haven't led on that my back has been in excruciating pain for the last 4 weeks (Due to the lopsided walk I have developed) I was up and ready to conquer the day at 7am- Yes your right, it is Sunday the notorious day of REST- My back was in such pain I couldn't lay in bed any longer and just got up- The sun hadn't made an appearance yet- After reading the Sunday paper and drinking my usual 2 cups of coffee- I began plotting my day- It is NOT unusual that everyday at 10:30 am I am ravenously hungary- So today I decided I would overindulged on a juicy
RED MEAT meal for lunch- I believe red meat will help my back pain- I couldn't wait until dinner time- That would be in 7 hours- Oh hell no- I was going to have a 4 course meal at noon- Now I had to decide where to go- I stopped by my parents to see if they would like to join me (and be the financial backing) After discussing my lunch plans with my parents- They told me how they had ate at a Bonanza the weekend before in the Brainerd area- I immediately wanted to eat at Bonanza or a Ponderosa Restaurant- I seriously thought about driving the 2 hours to get there- My father started telling me all about the food choices they had on their buffet-"They have all kinds of salad stuff, hot food and a very large desert bar (small inside note, during college I had worked at a Bonanza Restaurant- I know exactly what type of food you can eat, drool.........) I had to stop him from talking anymore it began to make my mouth water- Thinking about red meat made me feel like a lion stalking a gazelle, a vampire wanting to drink blood- I feel like a red meat junkie-
I need some red meat- I looked in the yellow pages and THERE ARE NO Bonanza or Ponderosa Restaurants in the metro area- I am sooo bummed out!!! Now I am online looking for them- Minnesota has only 3 locations: St Cloud, Bemidji, & Baxter- That is a total rip off Wisconsin has like 20 locations- Well I have vacation time this week and I have decided I will take a small road trip & head to the nearest BONANZA Restaurant!!!
Cynic = Disappointed Idealist
This makes complete sense doesn't it. I recently read this and said
"That is exactly right, I couldn't have said it better myself" I should know, I have met or dated a fair amount of cynics in my life. I must attract them, because
I am one. You probably wouldn't know that about me because I keep it under lock & key most of the time- unless I have had a lot to drink or if you accompanied me to the grocery store (well the grocery store in my neighborhood at least) or if you accompanied me to any "public" outing, really. I thought this blog would be a place to express myself but realized my family is really the only readers and I didn't want to be disowned, exiled, excommunicated, expelled, ostracize, banished- They most likely would be horrorified by my thoughts.
Unexpected Pleasantness
So I got home tonight from work and went straight for the computer- Typing, Typing, Typing, checking my grammar, re-typing, double checking my spelling, (even called my mom to get a second opinion on my grammar) and then finalizing my paperwork which all relates to the
"confidential file" Then I was off to the nearest Kinko's- I had to fax my freshly typed paperwork- I actually ended up over in my "old" neighborhood because I knew exactly where a Kinko's was- After I finished faxing my "confidential file" (which cost $1.00 a page, ouch) I headed for the ATM- I noticed the new Super Target was open and thought I would drop in to pick up some much needed groceries- Can I tell you how much I loved grocery shopping at Target!!!!! I had no anxiety what so ever!!!! It has been the highlight of my week!! (so far) I casually walked the aisles and pondered the items on the shelves- It was CLEAN, well ORGANIZED, and reasonably PRICED- There was just enough selection that made shopping a breeze- Grab and Go- The other customers were courteous and respectful- actually not to many to begin with- I decided I will drive the 10+ miles to buy groceries there from now on- Well worth the price of gas I will be using up- Can I repeat the fact I didn't get any
anxiety!!! And no, I didn't have any drinks before hand either!!! Unexpected Pleasantness!!! (I did have to cut my pleasant visit short due to the fact that I had crammed my
still healing foot into a shoe and it began to feel like my scar was cracking open -but I am reporting
it is fine)
In the Works
Star Sirrah the new Photoblog by yours truly is still in the works but you can preview it here- You know how much I love my metaphysics and astrology and numerology and horoscope- Star Sirrah was the star I was born under- Is that a coincidence or what? I am not named for this star though- My parents are devote Christians- I am not sure why they chose Sara. Besides the fact it is a religious name. Check out Star Sirrah!
When You Gonna Ring My Doorbell
Um, Whoever was ringing my doorbell at 2:50 am last night- That was very RUDE!! I was sleeping and I know it wasn't an emergency because I didn't hear any blood curdling screams in my very silent neighborhood-And everyone knows not to bother me while I am sleeping- If it was an emergency, You better throw a rock through my bedroom window to get me out of bed!!!- You, whoever you are, and I have an idea (upstairs apt #6) better stop forgetting your damn key-It has been going on looooong enough- Just because I am the first apartment and my doorbell is the first one, doesn't mean I will buzz you in- Yes, I have done it a couple times in the past, but never after 9pm- Actually if someone else didn't let you in and you persisted any more than you did this is what you would have heard on the intercom: "The door is locked for a reason- WHAT THE (Beeeeep) DO YOU WANT? (beep, beeeeeeeeeeep, beeping) It is 2:50am How (beeping) RUDE!!! (beeeeeeeeep, beeeping) then being the friendly neighbor that I am, I would have buzzed him in- I am guessing he would never buzz my door ever again.
What "Stressed" Looks Like in the Mirror
Will someone- Please buy this poor shmuck a drink! She is starting to unravel.
Where's Saratee been?
I haven't entered in this blog in a couple days- That is pretty rare- But I've been dealing with the "confidential file" and without the ol'bottle it has been a loooong 5 days. For the stress I have faced recently and without a drink- That would be considered self mutilation- You're guess is right, I ran out of booze a couple weeks ago- My ice trays are still neatly lined up in the freezer, with each cube still full of a glimmering pocket of frozen water- The half empty Coca-Cola bottle still in my fridge wondering where the party went- All my glasses CLEANED and neatly put away in the cupboard- You're wondering why? Not by choice of course- Well for one, I just started to walk like an upright homosapien again- And two, I haven't been able to put my foot into a shoe since August 9th-And Hell, I can't hobble into the Liquor store wearing one regular shoe and one pink bootie-
What are You listening to?
What are
you listening to??
I am
that typ
e of person who, when I find something I really like, I will listen to it over and over and over and over, interrupted by what I
used to like, then back again over and over and over until I find something new to listen to over and over and over and over....................
Lately it has been:**Ryan Adams & the Cardinals-
Cold Roses**Richmond Fontaine-
The Fitzgerald**Neko Case and her Boyfriends-
Furnace Room Lullaby**Good-n-Lame
Top 40: 80's Radio (80's Muzak
- Journey and Scandel Rocks the' World-This stuff is actually new to me, I never even listened to 80's music during the 80's, I've been a rocker from day ONE)
With interruptions by:
**Lucinda Williams-
World without Tears or
Essence**Good-n-Lame Hard Rock Radio (Black Sabbath to Pink Floyd to Van Halen)
**Hell'ya- I listen to the Country Stations too! (Keith Urban can rock my world!)
**Richmond Fontaine-
Post to Wire
**Tift Merritt-
TambourineWhat are YOU listening to? Please leave a comment and clue me in on other Musac I should check out.
